Hey guys! A lot's gone on in the past year since I last wrote a journal entry.
For most of the end of last year, I was working overtime (even through Christmas) finishing up on South Park: The Stick of Truth. The game was released in March, and was very well received. I'm happy it's done well and that people are enjoying the game.
Currently I'm still at Obsidian, working on a game called Pillars of Eternity. In the past six months, I've been learning a lot about computer animation, and developing skills I hope will continue to serve my career in animation in the future.
Recently I've been thinking a lot about art, and what I do with my free time. I think it's true to some extent that there's no such thing as "I don't have time". I often find myself saying this when it comes to things that I want to do with my free time, but I think what it really comes down to is that I don't make the time. Life happens, and things get busy, and sometimes, I just want to relax. But I've always been the sort of person that can't sit still for long, and I've always got a lot of things going on in the background that I wish I could do. I've tried scheduling out my time to the minute, so I could do a little bit of all those things, but it's rough to live your life in that way.
I guess what it comes down to is that whatever I make time for in my life at the moment is what I consider important, and often, art isn't one of those things. Sometimes I feel really awful about this, because I just can't seem to be like the artists that I admire so much. I'm just not a prolific artist. When I think about art, I often feel a sense of recoil. I don't know if I just get burnt out creatively from work, or if I am just afraid of failure. For years now, art has felt more like a chore than a passion. I'm trying to come to terms with the idea that maybe I'm just not meant to be one of those artists who create amazing things all the time. Maybe I just draw once in a while and that is good enough. Maybe if I come to accept the little things I can do, it will lead to bigger things. I don't know. I guess all I can do is try to be the best that I personally can. And if I can't measure up to that, that's okay, too.